Days 110 & 111

These last two days were good. With the exception of a little bit of easter chocolate, which I FINALLY passed off to my coworkers, I did well and exercised like a FEIND!! I go away to Punta Cana on Saturday, and when I get back this whole thing is going to be revamped. I feel like as much as I've been exercising, the whole eating part of all this has slowed down a bit, so I want to get back into it. Hopefully a few days away will help renew my determination! I'm a little fuzzy on what I ate yesterday, it included veggie hot-dogs and other healthy foods, but I remember how hard I worked out so I'm going to at least give you all the details on that....

Day 110 (Wednesday)

Workouts:

10:00am:

Crossfit

-400m sprint

-10 burpees
-60 jump-ropes
(5 sets of these two exercises)

-one last 400m sprint

5:30pm

SPIN CLASS

-1 hour long and INTENSE

8:00pm

-hour-long bike ride (not sure how many miles were covered)

I was seriously dead by last night! I also had plans to go to crossfit this morning but when my alarm went off there was NO WAY it was happening. I didn't work out today but my legs have been KILLING me.

Day 111 (Thursday)

Here is what I ate today:

Breakfast:

-1 egg with 1 slice lowfat swiss
-2 slices turkey bacon
-1 TJ's hash brown
-1 tbsp ketchup
-1 cup coffee with 1 tbsp caramel creamer and 1 sweet & low

Lunch:

-BOLT: 6 slices turkey bacon, 2 slices whole grain toast, 1 tbsp fat-free mayo, 10 black olives, 2 tomato slices and lettuce.

Snack:

-Couple bites of a chocolate bunny
*I left it at work after this haha

Dinner:

-Wonton soup
-Assorted sushi slices
-spare ribs
-chicken and broccoli

Drink:

-some OJ straight out of the bottle lol

I'm tired and need to get up at 8 for Crossfit, then one last post before VACATION!!

Day 109

Today was not so good. I ate crap and ended up feeling HUGE by the end of the day. Just totally gross like I  used to all the time. Not good. I know that the rest of this week won't be so good either...But like I've said the other day I would really like to see if I could lose even half a pound or a pound on vacation, just to prove a point because everyone talks about how it's IMPOSSIBLE to lose weight on vacation. I want to prove it is totally doable!!

Here's what I ate today (PS, I debated totally omitting a blog for today but others suggested that I should because I always stress accountability. So here it is)

Breakfast:

-2 kashi whole grain waffles
-1/4c sugar-free syrup

Snack:

-apple

Lunch:

-3 TJ's chicken/veggie dumplings with 1/2c TJ's fried rice

Snack:

-1 sugar-free vanilla pudding

Dinner:

-1/3 portion of Thai veggie, noodles & chicken (comparable to chinese chicken lo-mein)
-4 chicken sate sticks with peanut sauce

Dessert(?)

-1 cheese & berry danish (legit 500 calories...ugh) 

Alright so maybe on paper it doesn't seem so bad but the way I FELT made it seem MUCH worse...I was bloated, felt sluggish, gross, tummy hurt, etc. But then again I just think back to the fact that this is how I  used to feel EVERY DAY. I can't believe I used to eat my face off day in and day out and be OK with it! This is NOT OK! Everything in moderation. No huge ass meals loaded with crap! Can't wait to work out tomorrow. 2x as usual. Crossfit in the a.m. and spin at night. This is probably my last spin for a few weeks (or all summer) since my gym membership runs out on the 30th, AND I've heard that they are changing the dates of summer spin class to the 2 days a week that I actually work nights. If this is the case I'm gonna be FURIOUS you can't even FATHOM how angry I'll be haha. But I'll take it as it comes and won't jump to any assumptions just yet! I just wanna get to vacation first THEN I'll worry about the gym :-) Countdown to Punta Cana: 4 days!!!

Days 105, 106, 107 & 108

This is going to be a general post for Easter weekend and also for tonight.

This weekend was full of sweet stuff. Chocolate, soda, jelly beans, etc and other easter goodies! I had a fantastic time and the food we ate for dinner was fresh and homemade. It consisted of filet mignon, lasagna, salad and fresh veggies. I really enjoyed myself and it was great!

Today I worked out twice, Crossfit in the morning and Spin class at night! At crossfit I did deadlifts, wall balls, knee-lifts and some kettle bell work. It was intense and almost a full-hour this time. I was dead afterwards but of course it felt awesome. And spin class, as much as I'm not into the Monday class, was really hard and I made sure to give my all so that I would sweat a lot!!

Food went well, I did have assorted chocolate but whatever. It's in the house and with everyone I live with it will be gone soon enough. Here is what I ate today:

Breakfast:

-(1) 2-pack TJ's granola bar
*1 before workout, 1 after!

Snack:

-cadbury creme egg
*My FAVORITE easter candy. Needed my fix.
-decaf coffee with 1 tbsp amaretto coffee creamer and 1 sweet & low
*Love coffee. I really do.

Lunch:

-1 piece filet mignon
-1 tbsp bbq sauce
-1 cup of carrots/string beans
*Alright so putting BBQ sauce on the meat was probably insulting but I don't care it was delicious.

Snack:

-1 banana

Dinner:

-BOLT: Bacon, olives, lettuce, tomato, pepper mayo on 2 slices whole grain bread
*SO GOOD!!

Snack:

-a few pieces of godiva chocolate
-1 cup almond milk

Overall a good day. I guess I could have skipped the chocolate but no biggie. It's easter haha. Also I lost another pound! Yay! Grand total is 15 lost. Can't be sad about that! :-) Now the rest of the week should be good, but I am on vacation saturday to wednesday. I'm going to try to prove that you can go on vacation and LOSE weight! Hell even if it's a pound I'll be happy! I  plan on working out a lot and eating light. We shall see :-)

Days 103 & 104

For someone who doesn't have a fulltime job I seem to always be running ALL over the place. That's why sometimes I do the "two-posts-a-day" thing, since by the time I get home I just want to pass out and can't even fathom making my brain work hard enough to write something worthwhile. I would obviously like to try and make them more regular, and on the days I'm not exhausted or when I at least get home at a normal time I will post...yesterday was a "running on empty" kind of day so I'm posting tonight while I still have my faculties.

Day 103 (Wednesday)

I was ALL over the place yesterday. Belmar, Cherry Hill, Lawrenceville, Hamilton, Philly and back home. The good part about this was that I knew I would be keeping busy which meant meal spacing would be prime. The annoying part was everything I made for myself had to be portable and easy to eat. I also am trying NOT to go food shopping for another 2 weeks since I'm going on vacay soon and food would just rot while I'm gone. I need to make what I have last until May 4th. I CAN DO IT! haha. I'm trying NOT to use my frozen foods and instead eat all the perishables before I go away. I ended up eating really well and also worked out twice. It was a super productive day on all accounts. I ate a LOT of small meals. It's funny because in the beginning of this whole endeavor I made a big deal about not counting calories. Then the counting started to creep up and I started to kind of tally what I was eating during the day although I didn't want to be doing it. Then I had an epiphany yesterday. I started eating at 8:30am and essentially ate (like clockwork) every 3 hours until I went to bed at 2:30am.  I ate 6 or 7 times...I'm sure I went beyond 1500 calories (which is where I've been trying to keep myself). And for sedentary days that is fine...but I was running around and had worked out like a fiend. And interestingly enough I promised myself to only eat when my stomach growled. It growled, on cue, every 3 hours. I felt that I was actually eating productively and felt like I was truly using my food as fuel for my body and kept hydrating.

My workout at Crossfit was INTENSE. I did a total of 5 exercises. For each exercise, I worked for 20 seconds and rested for 10 seconds, for a total of 4 minutes an exercise. I had a minute rest in between each exercise. I did kettlebell swings, sit-ups, push-ups, ring rows and squats. For the sit-ups, I started out using a weighted ball. Rob thought this actually made the workout easier so he made me put it down...NOT having the ball was so much harder! The ball had been giving me momentum! And for the squats, during my 10-second "rest" period, he had me hold a low squat for 10 seconds. This was much harder than the squat itself haha and I was DYING!! I left the gym a total wreck haha. I then spent the day in cherry hill doing errands with a friend so I just kept my lunchbox in the car and was able to eat consistently. I'm glad I got over the embarrassment of carrying a lunchbox around. After all that I went to spin class, which was super intense (the wednesday classes always are!) and felt frieken fantastic afterwards!! What a great workout day. I wish every workout day was like this!

Here is what I ate yesterday:

Pre-workout: 

-1 of 2 TJ's granola bars

Post-workout:

-The 2nd granola bar 

Snack:

-Banana

Snack:

-Cadbury egg
*my favorite easter candy. ever.
-1 small hard-shell chocolate cadbury egg
*you know which ones.

Lunch:

-TJ's organic mac 'n cheese
*Always so damn good

Dinner:

-1/2 can tuna (in water), 1tbsp fat-free mayo on a TJ's whole wheat bun
*Really good!

Snack:

-TJ's granola bar

Snack:

-2 tbs reduced-sugar peanut butter
-1/2c almond milk
*Was home really late and STARVING and wanted to badly to cave and eat a full meal but I convinced myself to just get something in my stomach that would keep me satisfied. This totally did the trick for my tummy AND my tastebuds.

It was the first time that it didn't feel WRONG to eat so much! I just listened to my body for once and ate when my body signalled me that it needed food. It felt RIGHT!!

Day 104 (Thursday)

Thursday is not a workout day, which is fine. It's a work day but I managed to keep my food spacing in check. I attempted the same strategy as yesterday and only ate when my stomach growled. But my stomach didn't growl as often, I suppose because I didn't workout? It is actually interesting to start analyzing my body as a machine, telling me when it needs fuel and needing fuel when it works harder. I was able to space my meals out well today too. Here's what I ate:

Breakfast:

-1 packet plain oatmeal with 1/2 banana and a sprinkling of semi-sweet chocolate chips
-1 cup coffee with 1/4c amaretto creamer
*Oh man that oatmeal was phenomenal.

Lunch:

-TJ's chicken enchiladas

Snack:

-1 TJ's greek yogurt

Snack:

-1 swiss miss sugar-free chocolate pudding

Dinner:

-BoLT: Turkey bacon, olives, lettuce and tomato on whole wheat toast with 1 tbsp fat free mayo (with some cayenne pepper sprinkled in)
*This was so good! The olives were a last-minute decision and I don't regret it!

Snack:

-1 gluten-free chocolate chip cookie (homemade) 
*My sister made these and they were delicious! I only had 1.

Now:

-Brewed pomegranate white tea (iced) with 1 sweet & low
*Yum.

Proud of myself today! Now tomorrow I'm going out for dinner AND lunch so I want to be smart. And I'm not just saying it this time! I really mean it!

Day 102

Today was just ok. Still having a little bit of a tough time, especially when I'm bored at work (and no, cleaning doesn't help keep me occupied). I did prepare all my food today but ended up sidetracking a little bit.

Breakfast:

-1 egg, 1 TJ's hash brown and 2 slices turkey bacon with 1 tbsp ketchup
-1/2c almond milk
*This is a standby of course

Snack:

-Coffee with 1 tbsp powdered coffee creamer
-1 lindzer tart
*Now this F'ed me up! I made coffee at work instead of buying it so as not to waste $$, then found out AFTER I made it that we were out of any kind of creamer, even milk! So i scooped that powdery crap into my coffee and guess what: it added calories but not taste :-( but at least the cookie was good.

Lunch:

-2 slices deli ham, 1 slice lowfat swiss, 1 tbsp miracle whip on 2 slices whole wheat bread
*This was good, I had gotten the miracle whip as a free sample so i just used it. If it isn't mayo though, what IS it?

Snack:

-1 chocolate-covered oreo
-1 piece of a chocolate bar
*Shouldn't have but it was so worth it.

Dinner:

-3 chicken & veggie dumplings
-1c TJ's veggie fried rice
-1tbsp soy sauce
-1/2c stir-fry veggies
*Delicious and at this point my timing and spacing was good on meals.

Snack:

-1 pomegranate greek yogurt
*yum of course

2nd Dinner?? (Panera)

-1/2 turkey sandwich and 1c broccoli cheddar soup
-1 small bag of chips
-water
*This was only because I was supposed to meet a friend and I had a half  hour to kill. I was sitting in my car in a shopping center and just walked over to panera to kill time.

Could have been better but then again it could have been way worse I suppose. I really want the next 10 or so days to be really good though so that I can be in my best shape for vacation and beach time!! :-)

Day 101

Finally a healthy day again! Feels good to detox a bit. I started off my day by working out at crossfit, and it was horribly tough. Like, really really bad. Like, I thought I was going to vomit on more than one occasion. I felt my body just giving out with each exercise. Today's task was to do 30 reps of 10 exercises. I did various exercises like sit ups with a weighted ball, push ups, walking lunges, ring rows, kettlebell swings, step ups, presses, slam ball, burpees (kind of like mountain climbers) and...i know there must be one more I just can't think of what it is! Anyway it was extremely tough. Missing a week or so is a big mistake with these kind of workouts. I felt so weak :-(

I also ate very well today. Phew! What a relief to go back to the normal routine! I need to try and keep the "bad" days down to a minimum the way I was doing it when I first started all this! I would at least like the next 2 weeks to be clean as far as eating is concerned, I am going on a 5-day vacation on the 30th and would like to maybe drop another pound or two so I can look nice in my bathing suit! I also plan on going to the fitness center at the hotel each morning. It's a big goal and something I have never ever done on vacation so it would be nice to step out of my comfort zone for once.

Here is what I ate today:

Breakfast:

-2 egg whites, 2 slices white toast, 2 slices canadian bacon
-coffee with fat-free french vanilla coffee creamer and 1 splenda
*I was at my aunt's house so breakfast was whatever she decided to make. luckily she knew I was eating healthy so she made a good breakfast for me!

Lunch:

-TJ's frozen shepherd's pie
*Actually good! Never eaten it before...

Snack:

-1 TJ's strawberry granola bar

Snack:

-1 sugar free jello pudding, 1 banana, 5 strawberries
*Was at a friend's house, she is on weight watchers so she had some healthy food in the fridge

Dinner:

-Bowl of homemade veggie soup
-1 tuna sandwich (2 slices whole wheat bread, lettuce, tuna with mayo)
*Was still at my friend's house, instead of ordering out fattening food she made a delicious veggie soup and sandwich for us!

Snack/Dessert:

-1 small vanilla ice cream cup (100cal) with 2 strawberries sliced in
*Nostalgic! Remember those little ice cream cups that our parents bought in bulk when we were kids and we only got to eat at parties??

Snack:

-18 (serving size) blue corn tortilla chips
-1/4c salsa
*Came home with a hankering for lots of food. This was the lesser of many evils.

All in all a successful day. Definitely need to up the water intake and i forgot to take my usual vitamins this morning, but all will be made right tomorrow I'm just glad I'm back on my game! :-)

Days 99 & 100

Day 99 (Saturday)

Breakfast:

-Coffee with 2 tbsp caramel coffee creamer and 1 sweet & low

Lunch:

-two slices whole grain bread with 4 slices lowfat deli ham, 2 slices lowfat swiss and 1 tbsp fat-free mayo
-4 strawberries

Dinner:

-2 pieces pizza: 1 pepperoni and 1 plain
-Seltzer water

Snack:

-1 decaf cappuccino with 1 sweet & low

Snack:

-1 cup brownie fudge ice cream

Day 100 (Sunday)

I ate very poorly today (and also ate a lot)...we had people over and my parents made a lot of food. So while I can't be specific on how much of what I ate, I can tell you what it was comprised of:

-Granola bars
-Coffee
-Risotto
-Rabbit (yes, really)
-Ham
-Salad
-Bread
-Salami/olives/cheese
-Cupcakes
-Chocolate
-Apple Pie
-Cookies

SO. MUCH. FOOD. I feel soooooo stuffed right now! BLEH!! Total detox tomorrow AND working out in Belmar. Thank god I need it SO BADLY!!!

Days 97 & 98

OK Another 2-day post. I'm exhausted though so this isn't going to be detailed and I will also add that yesterday and today were not good.

Day 97 (Thursday)

Breakfast:

-1 egg scrambled, 2 pieces turkey bacon, 1 TJ's hash brown with 1 tbsp ketchup
-1/2c almond milk

Lunch:

-TJ's cheese enchiladas
-Iced tea (thought it was unsweetened but it was sweetened with natural sugar)

Dinner:

-1/4 portion general tso's chicken with some broccoli and white rice
-About 5 pieces shrimp tempura sushi

Day 98 (Friday)

-Breakfast:

-2 pieces whole grain toast with 1 tbsp reduced-sugar jam and 1 tbsp reduced-sugar peanut butter
-1c almond milk
-1c coffee with 1tbsp caramel creamer and 1 sweet & low

Dinner:

-1.5 chick-fil-a chicken sandwiches with honey/bbq sauce
-5 chick-fil-a chicken nuggets
-Cole slaw
-fruit with caramel dip
-1/2 brownie
-1c sweet tea
-1c unsweetened iced tea

Details on feelings etc to come tomorrow. And also tomorrow needs to be like, detox day and I have to squeeze in a workout because I ate so much junk the last few days. I need a break and to stay on track!

Day 96

Today was another good day, maybe a tiny bit sugar-heavy and water-light, but still good in terms of quality, portions and working out. I went to my usual spin class, which is always the best. I really feel myself working hard and the music is hysterical. Today was "broadway hot spin day" so our instructor played lots of broadway tunes and shut off all forms of ventilation in class so we would sweat a lot...which anyone else would probably find annoying but it was nice to sweat and since I'm a bit of a broadway nerd I was singing along to every song. It was ridiculous. Have you ever seen a 15-person workout group singing in unison to Bohemian Rhapsody while sweating their asses off? It's a sight to behold.

Here is what I ate today:

Breakfast:

-1 egg, 2 slices turkey bacon, 1 TJ's hash brown, 1 tbsp ketchup
-1/2c almond milk
*A standard.

Lunch:

-3 slices Jules Thin Crust artichoke/mozzarella/spinach/gorgonzola/tomato pizza
*Delicious when fresh, not so much when reheated :-(
-1 sugar-free vanilla pudding
-1 small piece of marzipan chocolate
*Needed a sugar fix.

Dinner:

-TJ's mac 'n cheese with 2oz turkey kielbasa
-1 pear
*Just so good.

Dessert(?)

-2 cups of coffee with a pretty good amount of wawa hazelnut creamer (1/3c maybe?) and 1 sweet & low
*Too much creamer but so frieken good

Water:

-NONE
*But I have a jug of water sitting next to me and I'm REALLY thirsty so you can  guess what's gonna go down in a few minutes haha

I am pretty tired from today's workout but it feels so good to have accomplished a hard ride like today's. Because regardless of how fun the music was, I definitely suffered through the ride. I am also sore from yesterday's crossfit workout. I hadn't gone for a week and I'm definitely paying for it now! 

Days 94 & 95

So yesterday and today weren't great...they were fairly bad actually. But it's alright. I've pretty much realized that the  philosophy is as follows: If you want to eat bad, eat bad. If you are able to eat well, eat well. What it all comes down to is that if I want to lose weight, the good days need to outnumber the bad. And each bad day is one day that I am farther from reaching my goal. I think that that pretty much sums up what I've learned so far and the methodology that has been working for me these past 3 months. I mean I've lost 14 lbs following that guideline. If I have a day that I just know I'm going to eat junk, I eat it and try not to punish myself for it. But I also have long stretches of eating perfectly. And of course, I try to work out as often as I can but I'm only human and I do skip days. But I have lost 14 lbs in 3 months, and while some might not think that that's "fast" in terms of pounds per month lost, I don't really give a crap, because I have no time frame on when I lose this weight. Of course the longer the "good" stretch of constant healthy eating and exercise the sooner I will reach my goal, but I have put no pressure on myself to be a certain weight by a certain date. In fact I'm really happy with how well I've been doing this and how psychologically I've been mediating my feelings and keeping myself in check. I really thought (and maybe still think) I have a food addiction but being really observant and careful of my behavior has helped me tremendously so far. And no one can say that it hasn't worked, because I am seeing obvious results. Now I'm not going to list what I ate yesterday and today because it wasn't good at all. But tomorrow through saturday will be immaculate I will be 100% sure of it. Sunday is a gamble because we are entertaining guests again and we all know how that goes!! :-) Tomorrow is spin class (wed nights are the best!) so I'm looking forward to it! I went to crossfit this morning and of course, got my ass kicked. I was DONE. SPENT. EXHAUSTED by the time I was done. I had to do 30 swings with the kettlebell, 15 "wall balls" with a 14-lb bean bag ball, then run around the block haha. I did this 4 times. I also really REALLY thought I was going to vomit on the car ride home but I made it back ok :-). I'm always miserable during the workout but feel so victorious afterward! I highly recommend it to everyone. The website is www.crossfitbelmar.com and even if you just want more info on what I've been doing there and what it is like check it out!

Day 93

So as of this morning, I've lost a total of 14lbs!!! SO FRIEKEN HAPPY ABOUT THIS!  Really the only reason I weighed myself was because my sister bought a new scale and we were just all taking turns trying it out. And before I got myself TOO excited I weighed myself on my old scale and they matched up, so I knew her scale was accurate! Today I didn't end up working out like I had wanted to though...my alarm went off at 8 and there was NO WAY so I just went back to sleep. I also didn't eat well, we had people over and had lots of food, but tried to eat in moderation so I'm not upset.

Here's what I ate:

Breakfast:

-1 TJ's granola bar
*Wanted to start off light!

Snack:

-Some mozzarella chunks
-Olives
-Artichoke hearts
-Hard salami slices
*SO FLAVORFUL!!!

Dinner:

-1 bowl of baked ziti: white pasta, homemade marinara sauce, peas, eggplant, mozzarella, grated parmesan, mortadella, provolone and salami all baked together
-2 riceballs (homemade)
-1 piece of vegetable chicken (baked and homemade)
-1 bite of pork (marinated/homemade)
-1 serving of salad (oil & vinegar dressing)
-2 glasses of diet sprite
*The food wasn't bad. But SODA!! OMG!! my first glasses of soda in 93 days. I felt super gross after drinking it though and it wasn't as awesome as I remember it! I know for sure I won't be craving it anytime soon (or ever again?) haha.

Dessert:

-5 hershey kisses
-1 piece of red velvet cake
-2 polish chocolate/marzipan candies
-1 large glass of almond milk
*Alright dessert def messed up my day. But it was delicious and totally worth the calories.

Late-night:

-1 decaf vanilla latte with 3 sugars
*Could have done without more sugar but w/e.

Not great but I seriously think it could have been worse. I didn't eat anything processed, the food was fresh and up to a high standard. My parents now buy meat from grassfed animals and animals that aren't treated with any hormones so I think it is healthier. I am happy with today and I definitely think the outlook you have affects how you feel later. If I felt negative about how I ate today I would probably end up in a weeklong downward spiral. But since I have no negative feelings about today's diet I am going to be able to move right back along tomorrow with no problems :-)

Day 92

This week has been really easy! It's crazy how some weeks are just overruled by cravings and negativity and others don't even feel like I'm dieting. I suppose it also comes down to how busy I keep myself, and I was doing all sorts of running around this week. I ate really well today again, proud of myself. I need to get back on the "water wagon" since I'm not really drinking any unless I work out, but I'll get into it. It's just a habit that needs to be formed/renewed.

Here is what I ate today:

Breakfast:

-2 TJ's waffles, 1 TJ's hash brown, 1/4c sugar-free syrup
-1cup coffee with 2 tbsp wawa hazelnut coffee creamer (and no sweetener)
*A little bit of sugar overload at breakfast. I know, I know.

Lunch:

-1 TJ's frozen baked ziti meal
*Yummy and on the go! Their sauce is so good!

Snack:

-1 raspberry greek yogurt with 1 TJ's granola bar crunched in
*Kept me full for exactly 4.5 hours!

Dinner:

-BLT: 6 slices turkey bacon, 2 slices whole grain toast, 2 tomato slices, some lettuce & 1 tbsp fat-free mayo
-Sugar-free vanilla pudding
*The BLT was delicious. For some reason for the very first time ever my bacon stuck to the pan so it came up in pieces lol...so it was a bit of a sloppy sandwich and the radio was a tiny bit off, will work on this for the future.

Beverages:

-Water: NONE
-Iced Tea: Grande iced black tea UNSWEETENED at Starbucks
*YUM

Really proud and feeling fantastic!! Went out tonight, dressed well and got a decent amount of compliments...how can  you possibly want to get off track on nights like this? In a really good mood and going to ride this into tomorrow. I have plans to work out with a friend in the morning, we are having people over at 1 and I would really like to try to squeeze in a usual "sunday" exercise!! I probably won't be eating TOO well tomorrow, like I said we are having company over so my dad is cooking, but everything he makes is homemade and pure...he's making baked ziti from scratch, riceballs from scratch, pork roast and lemon chicken...as long as I munch in moderation I know I'll be ok...tomorrow will be a good water day since I'll just be sitting around!!! Sip, sip sip all day!!! That's the goal. Actually my one goal for tomorrow is really just to work out since it is very unlike me to workout on a day we have company coming over. But I am devoted to this endeavor so I'm going to find a way to sweat tomorrow no matter what!!

Day 91

Alright, I've now started month 4...I want to transition to this month with no hoorah, I just want to move forward since I've been on a roll this week. I ate well today and made sure to hit up the gym...I want to make sure (absolutely sure) I get back to my Mon-Wed-Fri-Sun workout regimen. We are having people over at 1 on sunday and I want to see if I can get an early workout in (even a run or walk or something) and have enough time to shower and get ready by 1. I think this can be achieved.

Here's what I ate today:

Breakfast:

-2 pieces TJs french toast with 1/4c sugar-free syrup and 2 slices turkey bacon
*Good but like I've said, prob won't buy again
-1/2c almond milk (the delicious kind)
*Finally finished the "wrong" almond milk that mom bought by accident...back to my old standard now :-)...can't believe how much I like it!

Snack:

-1 slice of pineapple
-1 pear
*This was after the gym...I stumbled upon the remnants of an office party and was able to just eat the fruit instead of the ginormous oreo pie that was staring me down. Yay willpower

Lunch:

-Turkey burger on Whole Wheat bun with 1tbsp fat-free mayo, 1 tbsp ketchup, lettuce, tomato, onion and 2 slices turkey bacon
*This was good but MESSY. The tomato was super juicy, and 1 tbsp of each condiment was wayyyy too much for this burger and it was getting EVERYWHERE. I didn't enjoy it as much because I had to try and control the drippings. Also the bacon was completely unnecessary, so I won't be including it next time. Also, I bought the RIGHT kind of Fat-free mayo this time...for all those curious, it's Smart Beat fat free mayo...it tastes SO MUCH like the real thing (i guess it is the real thing? minus the fat?) and 1 tbsp is only 10 calories!! Awesome!!

Snack:

-1 cup of coffee with 2 tbsp fat-free half & half
-2 TJs mini ice cream sandwiches
*This was quite the delicious snack.

Dinner:

-1 packet TJ's mac 'n cheese with 2 oz turkey kielbasa, chopped tomato, broccoli and cayenne pepper
*This was so good! I threw in the veggies since I figured it couldn't hurt, and this ended up being really delicious. Def a repeat recipe!

Snack:

-1/2c TJ's rice pudding with cinnamon
*my sister got cinnamon bun ice cream, and i smelled it and it just smelled so damn good, so i took out some rice pudding and sprinkled some cinnamon on it, and would you know it was a totally great substitute!
-1c TJ's pomegranate white tea (hot and unsweetened)
*SOOO much more enjoyable unsweetened, believe it or not...way too perfumed otherwise.

Water:

-1.5 bottles

Exercise:

-30min on treadmill: 5min speedwalk, 5 min run, 5 min speedwalk, 5 min run, 5 min slow walk at MAX incline on treadmill.
*Was sweating like crazy after this!!!

Proud of myself for today!! Glad I'm feeling better and more in control of myself. Those last few weeks were scary!!

Day 90

So I've officially ended 3 months of this! I'm pretty sure this last month I didn't lose any weight at all LOL but I at least have focused on working out plenty! I am now on to starting month 4!! :-) Very happy about this. Did extremely well again today, plan on going to the gym and/or doing my own workout thing tomorrow.

Here is what I ate:

Breakfast:

-2 slices TJ's whole wheat french toast with 1/4c sugar-free syrup and 4 frozen strawberries
-1c almond milk
*This was really good, in the future I'd prob just make my own french toast with wheat bread because it didn't taste THAT much different. I really just wanted to try it.

Lunch:

-Sandwich: 2 slices whole grain bread, 3 slices turkey lunchmeat, 1 slice lowfat swiss, 2 slices tomato, 2 slices romaine lettuce, salt, pepper, oregano and about 6 black olives
*I tried to recreate the sandwich I order from the deli next to my work...I was SO CLOSE except they use Kalamata olives...the black olives didn't have much flavor :-(

Snack:

-1 TJ's strawberry fruit & grain bar
*So this bar is literally called "So this strawberry walks into a bar..." haha

Snack:

-1 Swiss Miss sugar-free pudding (chocolate)
*So I usually get some noname brand pudding cause it's like $.75 a pack, and they've been getting cheaper and cheaper so I knew Shoprite was weeding it out slowly and sure enough this time around they were totally gone. Swiss Miss a similar product at least except the taste wasn't as good and the consistency was WAY thinner than the other brand...I eat it with a fork at work out of necessity and this pudding kept plopping through the prongs hahaha.
-1/2 banana
*Makes pudding more interesting.

Dinner:

-1c vegetarian chili
-1/4c brown rice
*Believe it or not this vegetarian chili was WAY more flavorful than the turkey chili! Both TJ's brand...and the veggie version is like half the calories. Will be buying more of this from now on!

Snack:

-1 Cherry greek yogurt with 1 TJ's granola bar crunched in
*Always so good! Always. Wish the yogurts weren't so damn expensive!

Didn't drink ANY water today!! I know, I know, bad bad. I'm just happy I have been on-track with my eating FINALLY!! That makes me feel good at least :-)

Day 89

Today is probably the first day in about 2 weeks that I've felt REALLY GOOD. Like back on track, the old attitude, the ease of eating well...I really just think that sometimes the hormones fluctuate and things get ALL out of whack, and I now also think that the bad food I eat during those times makes my moods worse. I remember saying (way back when in the blog) that I noticed certain foods affected my moods, and it was like I forgot that...now I'm remembering that the worse I ate the worse I felt, physically and mentally. All I needed was like 2 days of pure eating to set me straight and get all the junk out of my system. I weighed myself today for good measure (no pun intended) and haven't gained or lost any weight in 2 weeks. That's ok because you know what? I'd rather be "even" than gain weight! Now I just have to keep up the good habits!

Here is what I ate today:

Breakfast:

-1 egg (sunny side up) with 1 slice of whole wheat toast and a TJ's hash brown
-1/2c almond milk
*I think breakfast may be my favorite meal of the day haha...I always really enjoy it!

Lunch:

-1 can of tuna on 2 slices of whole wheat with 1tbsp reduced fat mayo and 2 slices fat-free american cheese
*OK this is my first time making a tuna sandwich in years, so a couple notes on this. 1) 1 can of tuna is too much. Serving size is half a can, and that's what I'll use next time. 2) I am not a fan of this mayo, so I went today and bought a fat-free variety that I  used to use and love. 3) Is 2 slices of fat free cheese excessive? Not sure how I feel about that. I think I took a healthy sandwich and made it unhealthy haha.

Snack:

-1 banana
*While driving lol

Dinner:

-2 oz whole wheat pasta
-1/2c marinara sauce
-1tbsp grated parmesan
*As much as I LOVE homemade sauce, it is NOT the same when you microwave it days later! It's actually gross. I think from now on I'm only going to eat sauce the day it's made!

Dessert:

-1/2c rice pudding with 1/2 banana mixed in
*This is just so good.

Snack:

-2 TJ's mini-ice cream cookie sandwiches
*This might be one of the most delicious things i've ever bought from TJ's.

Water:

-1 bottle
*Need to get back up on this!

I also went to spin today (yayyy) and loved it...the wednesday classes are always so damn hard!! I really pushed myself though, came out sweating like crazy...just the way I like it! I also went food shopping today for a couple little items that I've needed...I got some lunchmeat, fat free cheeses, fat-free mayo, sugar-free syrup and turkey bacon! Great day, feel awesome and mood is at 100% again! It's about damn time!

Day 88

I've almost completed 3 full months and about to start the 4th. It actually feels like a lot longer than that but then again I had originally set off to do a "90-day challenge" and here I am approaching that timeframe, ready to move way past it. I've had a tough couple of weeks, and my tragic visit to the mall yesterday didn't help things at all. In fact the low-self esteem carried over into today, and sitting around bored at work, looking out into the overcast day just put me into the lowest of lows. I felt fat, disgusting, lazy, inadequate ...basically every negative feeling you could think of. I really had to push myself to eat well, and I did do it but it was tough. And I actually feel a lot better through the day knowing that I was on the right track yesterday AND today and hopefully the rest of the week. However I got some clothes in the mail and when I tried them on out of 10 items only 3 fit...I started to feel awful again but I just shrugged it off and the positive spin I put on it is that I'll be getting a decent amount of money back once I make the return, haha. I was supposed to go to Crossfit this morning but my back was still hurting (FINALLY feels better now, days later). I will 100% be going to spin class tomorrow night and hopefully crossfit thursday and/or friday. And even though we are having people over on sunday I would like to try and get in an early-morning workout before they arrive. I really REALLY want to push myself to do it.

Here is what I ate today:

Breakfast:

-2 slices whole wheat toast with 1tbsp reduced-sugar peanut butter and 1tbsp reduced-sugar strawberry jam
*This was the first time I was trying this jam, got it at trader joe's...it was still sweet, reduced sugar definitely doesn't make a difference in taste at all! I'm almost done with this jar of peanut butter, it's peter pan brand and after i'm finished i would like to look for something a little more natural
-1/2c almond milk
*Can't believe how used to this I am! Remember when I thought it was gross???

Snack:

-18 blue corn tortilla chips (serving size) with 4 tbsp salsa
*YUMMM (except the salsa spilled all over the inside of my lunch box)

Lunch:

-1c TJ's fried rice with 4 steamed chicken veggie dumplings
*Good, and I DIDNT use any sauces at all this time!! But I forgot to add veggies which I definitely need to get into the habit of doing.
-1 blueberry greek yogurt
*Chobani is still the tried-and-true best tasting brand of greek yogurt

Snack:

-1 macintosh apple
*With a coating of salsa. ew. lol

Dinner:

-Veggie burger on whole wheat bun with 1 slice lowfat swiss, 1 tbsp ketchup and chopped red onion
*The veggie burgers I've been buying are Dr. Praeger's and while they are higher in calories than say, Morningstar Farms, they have way more natural ingredients and taste phenomenal.

Snack:

-2(Serving size) TJ's mini ice cream sandwiches
*AH THESE WERE SO GOOD! Basically mint chocolate chip ice cream between 2 oreo halves. Tastes as good as it sounds!
-1 bite of homemade pound cake crumbs
*Made by my baking-impaired sister. Every thing she bakes (no, seriously, EVERY, single thing) doesn't work. The poundcake "fell" in the middle and after much argument she finally admitted to trying to "halve" the recipe herself without keeping proper ratios haha. It did taste good though!

Now:

-1 cup hot black mango tea
*UNSWEETENED!!!

THANK GOD I did well today. I think I would be in an even WORSE mood if I had f*cked up again. I just need to stay positive, grab a hold of myself and keep moving forward. *I think I can*I think I can*I think I can*

Day 87

Almost at the full 3-month mark, going on to month 4...today was relaxing to start, I went and got a nice massage and went to lunch with a friend who I haven't seen in a long time. It was GORGEOUS out so we were both in a fantastic mood! I had planned on going to spinning afterward but my back was hurting a LOT from work yesterday and i didn't want to mess it up so i skipped it. No worries, I'm going to crossfit tomorrow a.m.! The rest of today wasn't as great (mood-wise) because I went to the mall and tried on jeans and NOTHING FIT! I felt so disgusting and fat I could have just cried right there in the dressing room. I tortured myself for the better part of 2 hours and then headed home. I'm a TINY bit better now but still pretty upset. I know this process is slow but I didn't look or feel ANY better at all so it was really discouraging. All I can do is just keep moving forward (and not try ANYTHING on for a while).

Here is what I ate today:

Breakfast:

-1 TJ's granola bar
*Eaten in the car lol

Lunch:

-BLT on whole wheat toast with mayo on the side (i put a tiny bit on sandwich)
-10 fries with ketchup
*I asked for vegetables and the woman f'ed up the order. I took the pile of fries and put them on my friend's plate but kept just a few for myself
-small cup of cole slaw
-slice of pickle
-unsweetened iced tea with 1 sweet & low

Snack:

-banana

Dinner:

-TJ's mac 'n cheese with 2 oz turkey kielbasa and 1cup of broccoli mixed in
*Added the broc for nutritional value lol

Snack:

-1 cappuccino with 1 sweet & low

Now:

-hot pomegranate white tea with 1 sweet & low
*WAYYY to sweet with the sweet & low!

Thank god i'm working out tomorrow morning hopefully it will improve my mood!

Days 85 & 86

Things have been a little rocky these last couple weeks. And at first I was getting discouraged because I really just thought I was losing sight of my goal. But since then I have realized that I do have hormonal issues...and I will try to explain this in as discreet a way as possible...but there are certain times when levels fluctuate and basically wreak havoc on my body. There is essentially a two-week span where I get very hungry, I break out, get really tired and more emotional. The problem with me is that I never quite know when the 2-week span is going to hit. And for the last 2 weeks I have been hungry, discouraged, EXHAUSTED, etc...and now it makes sense. That at least explains why I have been eating like a monster for 2 weeks! But I went food shopping at TJ's today and feel so much better! I'm also really looking forward to taking care of myself again - I'm going to bed early tonight after a long-day of work, I have a wonderful massage to look forward to tomorrow followed by catching up with a good friend, a HEALTHY lunch, and spin class...It is going to be the BEST way to start off my week and I couldn't be more excited about it! I feel like I'm back in business!!!

I will try to sum up what I've eaten...I remember perfectly what I ate today, but not too much  yesterday...I will try though!

Day 85 (Saturday)

Breakfast:

-Plain oatmeal with apples and cinnamon
-Unsweetened iced tea with sweet & low

Snack:

-Oatmeal Cream Pie snack cake

Lunch:

-Deli sandwich: Whole grain bread, turkey, swiss, lettuce, tomato, black olives, salt, pepper and oregano
-1/2 Deli pickle
-Unsweetened iced tea

Snack:

-TJ's granola bar

Snack:

-Big soft pretzel with mustard

Dinner (At Chickie's & Pete's):

-Salad with fat free ranch, grilled chicken, tomatoes, croutons and "crab fries" (fries with old bay seasoning)
-1 piece of shrimp
-1 mussel
-2 large glasses of unsweetened iced tea

I went to bed EXHAUSTED last night! I basically fell into a coma as soon as my head hit the pillow and I had to wake up early this morning so I could work a 3 hour football game with a heavy-ass camera on my shoulder! My muscles are killing me!! Here is what I ate TODAY. Now be prepared, it's probably one of the worst days I've had so far. And I wanted so badly to NOT POST it for everyone to see, but I've been so so honest with this blog so far that I'm not about to be ashamed and start clamming up now!

Day 86 (Sunday):

Breakfast:

-1 egg (scrambled), 1 TJ's hash brown, 2 pieces turkey bacon, 1 tbsp ketchup
-1/2c almond milk

Lunch:

-TJ's mac 'n cheese with 2oz turkey kielbasa
-1 piece of cici's pizza

Snack:

-1 piece of cici's sausage pizza

Dinner (Friday's):

-Cheddar bacon cheeseburger: Burger, bbq sauce, fried onions, cheddar, bacon, ketchup, lettuce and tomato
-Fries with ketchup
-some pieces of my friend's spinach dip
-2 margaritas

Dessert:

-Brownie bliss sunday: Brownie, vanilla ice cream, hot fudge and caramel sauce

UGH I ate like a PIG!! My body seriously needed it though because when I finished eating it I didn't even feel STUFFED!!! It's like my body just instantly made use of it or something! Anyway, I can't wait for tomorrow...time to take care of myself and focus...I mean REALLY focus on wellbeing! A massage is the perfect start :-)

Days 82, 83 & 84

I know, I know. Long time no post. This is the first time I'm going a 3-part post, other than the weekend I went to the poconos wayyyy back when. Well tonight's post is not going to be detailed, but I will say that Wednesday was bad, Thursday was good, and today was bad. This post will be more about the feelings than the food. First of all, today was my last day at one of my jobs for this season. I'm glad about it because that means food temptation will be cut in half, as every event I worked was catered and that's where many messups occurred. 2nd, I seem to be making a decent amount of mistakes, which bother me, but then I realize that I'm starting to revert to my OLD diet mentality...that i'm somehow in a RUSH to lose weight, and that every messup is a disappointment. What happened to the girl that let the mistakes slide and kept pushing that this was a LIFESTYLE change, not a fad diet? I need a constant reminder that there is NO RUSH to drop weight, and that self-control and willpower don't come overnight. I'm still young, I still like to be in a social environment with my friends, and I have to remind myself that it's OK to cave into temptation and that it's OK that my willpower isn't very strong. I need to instead focus on how well I HAVE been doing, on the fact that I'm the laziest person in the world but I have been working my heart out at the gym and guzzling water like it's my job. I need to keep telling myself that for 3 months I haven't had a sip of soda or juice and less than 10 alcoholic drinks. I need to praise myself for cooking most of my meals and being generally more health-conscious and taking care of the outside of my body too - my skin, hair, etc (i.e. wearing sunscreen, not overdrying my hair, taking vitamins). Yes, I am disappointed that there are still days when things "go to shit" and that sometimes there are multiple days in a row. The best I can do is try my hardest. At the very least I make sure to keep up with the water drinking and the working out, and the rest is sure to follow. The weather is getting nicer, there are more social gatherings, and that's when things get hard. But I want to be able to enjoy things in moderation and try to continue to make healthier choices regardless of the environment I'm in. I AM noticing a difference in how I look and feel. It's harder to notice differences in my appearance though because 1) this is a SLOW process and 2) I see myself in the mirror every day. However I do notice that when I walk I feel less "jiggling"...I'm assuming this is a combination of losing fat and muscle firming up. I feel firmer. I also feel more flexible and WAY WAY WAY less sluggish and bloated. I don't FEEL like a fat person as much anymore. My clothes still all pretty much fit the same, which kind of disappoints me a little, but I just need to take a breath and remember that this isn't happening overnight. I ran into a friend the other day who was a lot heavier 2 years ago....and when I saw her this week she looked FANTASTIC! She had lost a lot of weight, and we talked a bit and her outlook and strategy is the same as mine. She doesn't deprive herself, she just tries to make better choices, she eats whatever she wants in social situations but in MODERATION, she doesn't drink much alcohol anymore AND she loves trader joe's!!! The big difference between us is that she has not ONCE weighed herself in about 2 years. She doesn't need to know the number because she KNOWS she's lost weight! That would be too tough for me, I couldn't possibly go that long without weighing myself!! haha. But it took her a while to get to where she is and she is OK with that! It was great talking to her because she is proof that change is possible and that it's OK to take it slow. Anyway, I am going to a lacrosse game tomorrow night and then out after, but I really don't want to eat bad restaurant food, I'm actually kind of looking forward to ordering something healthy! The rest of the week should be fine...I'm going to lunch on monday but the restaurant is 100% my choice so I get to select a place that's on the healthy side, which makes me feel good so I'm looking forward to that too, and going to get a MUCH NEEDED massage as well! Only good days ahead, I just need to keep powering through and keep positive. A sign on the wall of the Crossfit gym says "Your outlook becomes your outcome" which is SO TRUE! I need to stay positive because as long as I can do that I will get the results I want.