Day 43
I Didn't get to bed until SERIOUSLY late last night, which is why I didn't post. Yesterday was not so great. Today, much better. I started off doing alright yesterday but had some difficulties later on...I think it all started when I went to the gym. Now, normally I get up, eat breakfast, wait 3 hours then go to the gym. Well yesterday I woke up later than I had wanted, plus I had plans in the afternoon so I decided to go to the gym BEFORE breakfast instead. I got dressed and ran out of the house. Well I spent an hour working out at the gym and became MAJORLY overheated (I made it through my workout, and my heart rate wasn't overly-high, but my face was the color of a tomato and I was sweating like crazy). I hydrated and had my car windows down all the way home to deal with the heat I was feeling! I had an insane headache since working out, which followed me all day despite taking more than the recommended dose of tylenol. My stomach hurt so I didn't even eat a big lunch, and didn't plan on eating a big dinner. Well I was trying to do a technical project late into the night which was getting me ridiculously frustrated, PLUS my sister ordered chinese food, so I pretty much just ate myself out of frustration. The chinese food was not the best and my stomach hurt really badly the rest of the night (on a good note, my headache went away). I never really thought I was much of an emotional eater, but then again I haven't really been stressed out in 43 days...I guess this was the true test and I failed with flying colors. I didn't realize how much I depended on food to make me feel better when I couldn't find relief any other way. In the end, it ended up being less about the food, because it wasn't delicious, I wasn't satisfied, and it made me feel seriously sick. Curious as to what ended up in my stomach? Wonder no more...
Breakfast:
NONE!
Lunch: (Right after the gym)
-Trader Joe's green curry & rice shrimp meal
*Good but REALLY spicy :(
Snack:
-1 sugar-free chocolate pudding with 1 banana
*always good
Dinner:
-1 can of healthy choice chicken & rice soup
*the reason this is so "healthy"? = it's mostly broth. Rip off!
Dessert?
Both from the polish deli:
-1 piece of poppy-seed sweetbread
*came highly recommended, it was just ok but it was my first time trying it
-1 slice of coconut/fruit cheesecake
*really good, and actually much MUCH lighter than american cheesecake. I didn't feel gross or guilty after eating it (although it couldn't have really been a HEALTHY snack now could it?)
Fourthmeal?
-1 egg roll
*YUM
-1 bowl of some kind of pork and fried rice
-Effing gross.
-2 slices of deli pork
*2 different types (from the polish deli) = 1 was good, 1 was not.
-1 large glass of chocolate almond milk
*delish...not quite sure if this is nutritionally better than regular chocolate milk though.
Exercise:
-Treadmill: 30 min on "weight-loss" program, 3.4 mph, level 2, ran twice
-Elliptical: 30 min on "weight-loss" program, last 5 minutes did "glute kicker"
Water:
-3 bottles
I felt so awful after eating poorly...not towards myself, I wasn't angry at myself. And I'm really really happy that instead of turning on myself I instead try to figure out WHY I did what I did...punishing myself only led to self-destruction in the past, so now I try to find out how I can right the wrongs...I think going to the gym without eating breakfast set the stage for me to mess up...my body needed fuel and I didn't provide it so already there was an imbalance which was then amplified by my emotional frustration until it just exploded into a binging session (granted in the past my binge-meal would have been much larger so that's a start). I would like to get to the point where I find another outlet for frustration, stress, anger and sadness instead of food!
Day 44
Today was a MUCH better day. It was ALMOST bad but for once, for ONCE I had the willpower (and good friends) to keep it in check. I worked all day so it was definitely tough to space out my meals, I'm used to this by now haha. But I'd rather space out my meals wrong than eat things I shouldn't so it's a small price to pay. Here is what I ate today:
Breakfast:
-1 kashi whole grain waffle with 1/4c syrup, some blueberries & 1/2 a banana
*This was the last waffle in the box, and I overcalculated the fruit/syrup mixture and the ratio was SO off that once I poured the hot fruit syrup on top it essentially dissolved my waffle. I was sad but I ate the mush pile anyway.
Snack:
-1/2c fat free cottage cheese with some blueberries
*Funny how every time I eat this there is someone standing by who says "ewwww cottage cheese".
-1 bite of a donut from the polish deli
*just ok. Did not taste like an american donut. Tasted more like a zeppole and had confectioner's sugar sprinkled on it
Lunch:
-2oz whole wheat pasta with sauteed broccoli, cauliflower, peppers, garlic & 1 tbsp red pepper spread (all mixed together)
*a failed experiment of mine. FAILED.
Dinner:
-1 chicken sausage link with sauteed onions, peppers & mushrooms with 1/4c fat free cheddar cheese on a whole grain bun
*Good! I love sausage.
-1 sugar-free chocolate pudding
Snack:
-1 bite of a pretzel rod.
*it was chocolate covered on one end. I bit the pretzel end, and my friend ate the chocolate end haha.
-2 dark-chocolate caramel wedges
*love these but i'm almost all run-out!
Water:
-3 bottles
See? did MUCH better today. Although on my drive home I was craving bad food really badly. I wanted the chinese from the fridge (even though I already knew it wasn't good) or homemade pizza that my dad made today...when I got home I was THIS CLOSE to eating it, so I texted a friend and told her I was on the verge of overeating so she texted me some words of encouragement and I talked myself through it too and I'm so glad I did...I feel really proud of myself for having the willpower to not cave in this time! Wish I could keep this up all the time. Tomorrow I will be going to the gym & working all day so hopefully I am occupied enough to not have cravings!
I Didn't get to bed until SERIOUSLY late last night, which is why I didn't post. Yesterday was not so great. Today, much better. I started off doing alright yesterday but had some difficulties later on...I think it all started when I went to the gym. Now, normally I get up, eat breakfast, wait 3 hours then go to the gym. Well yesterday I woke up later than I had wanted, plus I had plans in the afternoon so I decided to go to the gym BEFORE breakfast instead. I got dressed and ran out of the house. Well I spent an hour working out at the gym and became MAJORLY overheated (I made it through my workout, and my heart rate wasn't overly-high, but my face was the color of a tomato and I was sweating like crazy). I hydrated and had my car windows down all the way home to deal with the heat I was feeling! I had an insane headache since working out, which followed me all day despite taking more than the recommended dose of tylenol. My stomach hurt so I didn't even eat a big lunch, and didn't plan on eating a big dinner. Well I was trying to do a technical project late into the night which was getting me ridiculously frustrated, PLUS my sister ordered chinese food, so I pretty much just ate myself out of frustration. The chinese food was not the best and my stomach hurt really badly the rest of the night (on a good note, my headache went away). I never really thought I was much of an emotional eater, but then again I haven't really been stressed out in 43 days...I guess this was the true test and I failed with flying colors. I didn't realize how much I depended on food to make me feel better when I couldn't find relief any other way. In the end, it ended up being less about the food, because it wasn't delicious, I wasn't satisfied, and it made me feel seriously sick. Curious as to what ended up in my stomach? Wonder no more...
Breakfast:
NONE!
Lunch: (Right after the gym)
-Trader Joe's green curry & rice shrimp meal
*Good but REALLY spicy :(
Snack:
-1 sugar-free chocolate pudding with 1 banana
*always good
Dinner:
-1 can of healthy choice chicken & rice soup
*the reason this is so "healthy"? = it's mostly broth. Rip off!
Dessert?
Both from the polish deli:
-1 piece of poppy-seed sweetbread
*came highly recommended, it was just ok but it was my first time trying it
-1 slice of coconut/fruit cheesecake
*really good, and actually much MUCH lighter than american cheesecake. I didn't feel gross or guilty after eating it (although it couldn't have really been a HEALTHY snack now could it?)
Fourthmeal?
-1 egg roll
*YUM
-1 bowl of some kind of pork and fried rice
-Effing gross.
-2 slices of deli pork
*2 different types (from the polish deli) = 1 was good, 1 was not.
-1 large glass of chocolate almond milk
*delish...not quite sure if this is nutritionally better than regular chocolate milk though.
Exercise:
-Treadmill: 30 min on "weight-loss" program, 3.4 mph, level 2, ran twice
-Elliptical: 30 min on "weight-loss" program, last 5 minutes did "glute kicker"
Water:
-3 bottles
I felt so awful after eating poorly...not towards myself, I wasn't angry at myself. And I'm really really happy that instead of turning on myself I instead try to figure out WHY I did what I did...punishing myself only led to self-destruction in the past, so now I try to find out how I can right the wrongs...I think going to the gym without eating breakfast set the stage for me to mess up...my body needed fuel and I didn't provide it so already there was an imbalance which was then amplified by my emotional frustration until it just exploded into a binging session (granted in the past my binge-meal would have been much larger so that's a start). I would like to get to the point where I find another outlet for frustration, stress, anger and sadness instead of food!
Day 44
Today was a MUCH better day. It was ALMOST bad but for once, for ONCE I had the willpower (and good friends) to keep it in check. I worked all day so it was definitely tough to space out my meals, I'm used to this by now haha. But I'd rather space out my meals wrong than eat things I shouldn't so it's a small price to pay. Here is what I ate today:
Breakfast:
-1 kashi whole grain waffle with 1/4c syrup, some blueberries & 1/2 a banana
*This was the last waffle in the box, and I overcalculated the fruit/syrup mixture and the ratio was SO off that once I poured the hot fruit syrup on top it essentially dissolved my waffle. I was sad but I ate the mush pile anyway.
Snack:
-1/2c fat free cottage cheese with some blueberries
*Funny how every time I eat this there is someone standing by who says "ewwww cottage cheese".
-1 bite of a donut from the polish deli
*just ok. Did not taste like an american donut. Tasted more like a zeppole and had confectioner's sugar sprinkled on it
Lunch:
-2oz whole wheat pasta with sauteed broccoli, cauliflower, peppers, garlic & 1 tbsp red pepper spread (all mixed together)
*a failed experiment of mine. FAILED.
Dinner:
-1 chicken sausage link with sauteed onions, peppers & mushrooms with 1/4c fat free cheddar cheese on a whole grain bun
*Good! I love sausage.
-1 sugar-free chocolate pudding
Snack:
-1 bite of a pretzel rod.
*it was chocolate covered on one end. I bit the pretzel end, and my friend ate the chocolate end haha.
-2 dark-chocolate caramel wedges
*love these but i'm almost all run-out!
Water:
-3 bottles
See? did MUCH better today. Although on my drive home I was craving bad food really badly. I wanted the chinese from the fridge (even though I already knew it wasn't good) or homemade pizza that my dad made today...when I got home I was THIS CLOSE to eating it, so I texted a friend and told her I was on the verge of overeating so she texted me some words of encouragement and I talked myself through it too and I'm so glad I did...I feel really proud of myself for having the willpower to not cave in this time! Wish I could keep this up all the time. Tomorrow I will be going to the gym & working all day so hopefully I am occupied enough to not have cravings!
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